The Yankees’ bullpen management reached new levels of absurdity Friday night in a 5–3, 10th-inning loss to the Astros, when Aaron Boone bypassed David Bednar in favor of Devin Williams — a decision that predictably ended in a three-run implosion. And as if blowing another winnable game weren’t enough, the weekend’s chaos got an extra twist on Saturday when Mariano Rivera, fresh off an Old-Timers’ Day appearance, tore his Achilles rounding first base. Yet even on crutches, the 55-year-old Rivera somehow might still be the Yankees’ best late-inning option.
*** Now chatting in #PinstripePanic ***
GasCanDevin: lol whoops
that one got away from me
ERA’s a little toasty but hey, fire’s warm
JudgeMental99: skip
why was devin in the tenth
WHY
we literally had an off day yesterday
BooneDoggled: guys the other relievers were unavailable
tired arms, sore legs, vibes were off
you wouldn’t understand
JudgeMental99: vibes were off is not a medical reason
BooneDoggled: ok fine
also i forgot to text them
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: Yankees lose 5-3 to Astros after Devin Williams gives up three runs in the tenth
Aaron Boone cites “bullpen unavailability” despite off day before the game
Mariano Rivera tore Achilles during Old-Timers’ Day game earlier today
*** OneMoSave has entered the chat ***
OneMoSave: hola my friends
i am on the crutches now
but maybe… maybe I can throw one more cutter, eh?
JudgeMental99: coach
even with one leg
Mo is a better option than devin
BooneDoggled: ok but would the crutch be considered a foreign substance
GasCanDevin: you guys are so dramatic
it was only three runs
in one inning
for the third time this week
OneMoSave: hermano
I will pitch sitting in a chair if I must
the ball does not need legs to move
JudgeMental99: he’s literally the greatest closer of all time
and you’re running out here with Mister 5.00 ERA like it’s an art project
BooneDoggled: ok but Mo has an Achilles injury
what if he tries to cover first
OneMoSave: I will not cover first
I will not even move
the ball will not leave the infield anyway
*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
WORDUPTHOME: MARIANO RIVERA ON ONE LEG
STILL A BETTER SAVE OPTION THAN ANY YANKEE RELIEVER NOT NAMED MARIANO RIVERA
EVEN IF THE CRUTCH IS MADE OF BUTTER
GasCanDevin: wow ok
just ignore my “art” out there
not everyone can give up moonshots with such finesse
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i saw mo throw a toss from a chair once
still had more movement than half the league
BooneDoggled: fine, next save chance
Mo and the crutches are in
OneMoSave: make sure the mound is close to the bullpen couch
I will need to rest between pitches
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: Yankees medical staff confirms: throwing 15 pitches on one leg “still safer than Devin Williams in high leverage situations”
*** JudgeMental99 has left to order Mariano a custom Yankees-branded wheelchair ***
*** OneMoSave has left to practice cutters from a swivel chair ***
*** BooneDoggled has left to write “No Available Relievers” on a sticky note for next game ***
*** GasCanDevin has left to give up a ninth-inning lead in MLB The Show ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left to bronze Mo’s crutch for the Hall of Fame ***