On his rehab assignment, Victor Robles hasn’t been able to ease back into the flow of the game—instead, he’s been absorbing fastballs like a crash-test dummy. The Mariners outfielder, already sidelined earlier this year with a shoulder injury, has now been hit by multiple pitches in just a handful of games. Each fresh bruise has added to his mounting frustration, boiling over into a dramatic meltdown that saw him hurl his bat and scatter dugout snacks in protest. What started as a chance to regain rhythm has quickly turned into a test of patience, pain tolerance, and composure for the unlucky outfielder.

*** Now chatting in #TacomaTrouble ***

CatcherInTheDumper: look

Robles just got hit AGAIN

that’s three times this series

poor guy

SecondStringCoach: okay everybody relax, Victor’s fine

if by fine you mean he looks like he was used as target practice at a carnival

and the prize was a giant stuffed animal filled with thumbtacks

*** RoblesCop has entered the chat ***

RoblesCop: OYE MI GENTE

otra vez, they hit me AGAIN

my body already look like piñata

I just came back, bro, mi hombro no puede

RoblesCop: mano… I just come back from mi hombro

y’all tryin to break me AGAIN?

SecondStringCoach: Victor, take a deep breath

maybe count to ten

preferably without throwing any sporting equipment

and if you absolutely have to throw something, let’s make it a foam ball at a kid’s birthday party

*** RoblesCop has hurled his bat into the chat ***

RoblesCop: NO MÁS

I’m DONE

that bat FLY like my frustration, loco

SecondStringCoach: okay, that’s not what I meant

but sure, launching a bat across state lines, that’s one way to interpret my advice

*** RoblesCop now tossing sunflower seeds and Gatorade jugs ***

RoblesCop: ALL THE SNACKS

ALL THE DRINKS

concho, I CLEAN HOUSE TODAY

SecondStringCoach: nothing defuses tension like a man creating a convenience-store tornado in the dugout

this is going perfectly

RoblesCop: Snacks are flying

I AM FLUID, I AM FREE, I AM FRUSTRATED

*** RoblesCop has been ejected from the chat ***

*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat ***

WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI

JIM THOME

WORDUPTHOME: VICTOR

YOU THREW YOUR BAT

YOU THREW A SNACK BUCKET — INTO THE FIELD

THAT’S PASSIONATE SNACK CHAOS

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: dude i get it

i once threw a chair into the stands after a bloop single

u throw snacks? that’s just new technology

WORDUPTHOME: LET’S GIVE VICTOR SOME GRACE

BUT MAYBE KEEP THE GATORADE FOR DRINKING NEXT TIME

*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***

MLB_NewsBot: Breaking: Victor Robles ejected after throwing bat at pitcher and launching snacks

Has been hit by pitch five times in rehab series; recent shoulder rehab and family loss cited in apology

Robles could face disciplinary action for bat-throwing; Mariners fans show support, applauding his apology and honesty.

*** SecondStringCoach has left to explain “dugout snack containment” protocols ***

*** WORDUPTHOME has left to hug his own glove and never throw it ever ***

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to hunt for faulty snack security fences ***