Commissioner Rob Manfred has never been shy about tinkering with baseball’s structure, but his latest musings have fans on edge. In the name of “reducing travel” and “maximizing TV exposure,” Manfred hinted at expansion and realignment ideas that could throw decades of rivalries into the shredder. For the networks, it’s a dream of tidy regional pods and guaranteed prime-time matchups. For fans, it’s the nightmare of watching century-old showdowns—Cubs–Cardinals, Phillies–Mets, Tigers–Guardians—get sacrificed on the altar of broadcast windows. Even by Manfred’s standards, the notion feels less like progress and more like a spreadsheet gone rogue.

*** Now chatting in #RealignOrBust ***

rob_manfred.exe: hello fans 🙂

excited to announce we are exploring expansion and realignment

less travel, more TV money, more harmony

rivalries? tradition? optional 🙂

PhilliePhan420: wait wait wait

you’re telling me Phillies–Mets could be gone

but we’ll get a “natural rivalry” with Charlotte??

nobody asked for this

rob_manfred.exe: rivalries are outdated

synergy is the future 🙂

TV partners LOVE the Portland Pilots vs. Nashville Notes matchup

*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI

*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***

WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI

JIM THOME

WORDUPTHOME: RIVALRIES ARE BASEBALL’S BACKBONE

SOME THINGS ARE SACRED

LIKE CLEVELAND VS DETROIT

AND THE PRICE OF PEANUTS BEING TOO HIGH

rob_manfred.exe: fans don’t need “sacred” they need “optimized logistics” 🙂

who wants to see Yankees–Red Sox when you could see Yankees–Nashville Stars™ every weekend?

WORDUPTHOME: IF YOU MOVE THE TEAMS AROUND

IT’S LIKE TAKING THE CHEESE OFF A CHEESEBURGER

NOBODY WANTS A DRY BURGER, ROB

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: bro leave it 2 manfred

guy hates fun

i swear if u break up yankees–red sox

i’ll charge the office like it’s a mound visit

rob_manfred.exe: new rivalries will form 🙂

imagine the drama of Tampa vs. Salt Lake City

it just feels right

WORDUPTHOME: IT FEELS WRONG

LIKE A CURVE THAT NEVER BREAKS

OR A DOUBLEHEADER WITH NO SUNFLOWER SEEDS

OldHossRageFest: you can’t legislate rivalries

they’re forged in heartbreak and beer

not in boardrooms with powerpoints

rob_manfred.exe: powerpoint transitions are very powerful 🙂

WORDUPTHOME: BASEBALL ISN’T ABOUT NETWORK WINDOWS

IT’S ABOUT NIGHT GAMES THAT FEEL LIKE HOLIDAYS

ABOUT SEEING THE SAME FOE YEAR AFTER YEAR

UNTIL HATRED BLOOMS INTO BEAUTIFUL BITTERNESS

rob_manfred.exe: beautiful bitterness does not sell ads 🙂

you know what does? “streaming exclusives” and “regional pods”

rivalries are retro, my friends

PhilliePhan420: you can’t just DELETE rivalries

that’s like deleting Tastykakes from Citizens Bank Park

it’s unnatural

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the only realignment i’ll accept

is fielding me @ closer again

guaranteed a 50-game winning streak

or a 50-game suspension streak

win/win

*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***

MLB_NewsBot: Rumors swirl of MLB expansion to Nashville, Portland, Salt Lake City, and others.

Commissioner Rob Manfred hints at realignment to reduce travel, with TV interests driving decisions.

Fans and players voice concern over loss of traditional rivalries.

*** WORDUPTHOME has left to hug a Cubs–Cards box score ***

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to sharpen a folding chair ***

*** PhilliePhan420 has left to boo a streaming contract ***

*** rob_manfred.exe has left to add “rivalry synergies” to a spreadsheet ***