Craig Counsell’s first major gamble as the Cubs’ postseason skipper backfired almost immediately. After Matthew Boyd threw just 58 pitches in a sharp Wild Card outing, Counsell rolled the dice and brought his lefty back on short rest for Game 1 of the NLDS. The decision looked inspired—right up until the first inning started. Boyd surrendered three straight doubles, Nico Hoerner booted a routine grounder, and before the Milwaukee crowd had finished their first beer, the Brewers had plated six. Boyd didn’t survive the inning, and Milwaukee never looked back, cruising to a 9–3 win that had fans wondering if the Cubs’ October magic expired sometime around pitch number 10.
*** Now chatting in #NLDSGame1 ***
CounsellChair: look, i know it was a risk
boyd threw great on tuesday, only 58 pitches
figured he’d give us 4, maybe 5 solid today
turns out he gave us… 0.2 innings of trauma
BoydBoydBaby: yeah uh
first inning was… eventful
double
double
double
it’s called consistency, right?
NicoOops: then i booted one into right field to make sure everyone got involved
we’re a team, after all
CounsellChair: nobody panic
remember what we practiced
composure, resilience, staying calm—
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: panic. absolute panic.
i could pitch better than this with my eyes closed and both arms in slings.
what happened to the rage. where is the rage.
BoydBoydBaby: rage doesn’t fix hanging sliders, farnsy
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: it fixes everything if you throw hard enough
CounsellChair: we’re only down 6–1 after the first
let’s stay positive—
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: six runs. in one inning. positivity is dead.
*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
WORDUPTHOME: SOMETIMES YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN EARLY
BUT THE TRUE TEST OF A TEAM IS HOW YOU RESPOND
KEEP YOUR HEADS UP, CUBBIES
BASEBALL IS A MARATHON, NOT A SPRINT
UNLESS YOU’RE CHASING A LINE DRIVE OFF THE WALL
THEN RUN LIKE OLD JIMBO AFTER A BUFFET CLOSES
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: jim this isn’t a marathon
it’s the playoffs
we tripped on the starting line and broke both legs
WORDUPTHOME: FAITH, MY FRIEND
EVEN OLD JIMBO BELIEVES IN REDEMPTION
CounsellChair: look, we’ll regroup tomorrow
boyd gets rest
we reset the rotation
we remember we’re professionals
NicoOops: i’m gonna remember that ground ball for the rest of my life though
BoydBoydBaby: i’m gonna remember every sound that double made off the bat
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i’m gonna remember how much drywall costs
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: FINAL: Brewers 9, Cubs 3.
Matthew Boyd allows 6 runs on 4 hits, including 3 straight doubles, in 0.2 IP.
Counsell says, “We’ll regroup.” Fans say, “We’ve heard that before.”
*** BoydBoydBaby has left to rewatch his mechanics through tears ***
*** NicoOops has left to buy industrial-strength pine tar ***
*** CounsellChair has left to google “how to undo a pitching rotation” ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to rage-lift a Gatorade cooler ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left to hope for extra innings and second chances ***