It was the kind of postseason game that felt like it might never end. Tarik Skubal struck out 13 Mariners through six brilliant innings, but the Tigers’ offense stalled, and the bullpen inherited a purgatory. Seattle tied it 2–2 in the seventh, and from there, both teams took turns squandering chance after chance. The 10th, 11th, 12th, even the 13th all saw runners on base and no one able to deliver. By the time Jorge Polanco finally rolled a ground ball single into right in the bottom of the 15th to walk it off, the clock was creeping toward 1:00 AM back in Detroit — and radio voice Dan Dickerson was questioning not only his sanity, but his contractual obligation to recap the game.
*** Now chatting in #ALDSGame5 ***
DanTheManDickerson: good evening from seattle, where baseball refuses to end
we are in the bottom of the fifteenth inning
tied 2–2
tarik skubal struck out 13 and that was roughly 3 presidential terms ago
i have eaten two cough drops and part of my scorebook
*** SkubalRising has entered the chat ***
SkubalRising: gave em six strong
my arm is fine
my soul? less fine
*** JulioShow44 has entered the chat ***
JulioShow44: remember when i could’ve ended this in the 10th?
yeah me too
grounded out with two on
now my teammates treat me like a rain delay
*** Colt45Keith has entered the chat ***
Colt45Keith: hey at least you MADE contact
i struck out with two on in the 11th
couldn’t hit air with a beach towel
*** ArozeFromTheAshes has entered the chat ***
ArozeFromTheAshes: bottom 12th
two on
grounded into a double play
i’ve been apologizing to every fan personally
DanTheManDickerson: fans are starting to leave just to get their parking validated before sunrise
*** EugeNoYouDidnt has entered the chat ***
EugeNoYouDidnt: bottom 13th
deja vu double play
same pitch. same spot. same sadness.
i think the ball hates me
DanTheManDickerson: folks, i’ve been doing this a long time
i’ve seen heartbreak, heroics, even miggy stealing third
but i have never seen 14 innings of collectively bad situational hitting
i’m just going to write “pain” in crayon
*** PolanCodeRed has entered the chat ***
PolanCodeRed: bottom 15th
two outs, runners on
single to right
seattle walks it off
mercy at last
DanTheManDickerson: base hit to right
crawford can walk to home plate
ballgame
series over
the tigers’ season ends in the longest exercise of futility since my last tax return
*** PawsForConcern has entered the chat ***
/Paws quietly folds the rally towel into a flag of surrender
/places it over the bullpen phone
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: fifteen innings.
fifteen innings and this is how it ends?
someone find me a wall. i need to yell at it.
*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
WORDUPTHOME: WHAT A GAME
SEEMS LIKE BOTH TEAMS WERE OUT OF ENERGY, HOPE, AND SNACKS
BUT POLANCO FOUND HIS MOMENT
REMEMBER, FELLAS — BASEBALL IS LONG, BUT FAITH IS LONGER
OLD JIMBO ALMOST NAPPED THROUGH THREE INNINGS, BUT HE BELIEVED
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: FINAL: Mariners 3, Tigers 2 (15 innings).
Polanco’s single ends a marathon that featured 37 strikeouts and one broadcaster’s slow emotional breakdown.
Dan Dickerson now must record a postgame recap.
DanTheManDickerson:
...
no.
no i don’t.
you can recap it yourself, robot.
MLB_NewsBot: reminder: you are contractually obligated
DanTheManDickerson:
/content violation
*** SkubalRising has left to ice his everything ***
*** Colt45Keith has left to google “what is clutch hitting” ***
*** PawsForConcern has left to hold a silent vigil ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to punch the moon ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left to buy Dan Dickerson a coffee and a hug ***
*** DanTheManDickerson has left to burn his scorebook in protest ***