For the second time in World Series history, baseball stretched itself beyond reason, beyond endurance, and apparently beyond the league’s baseball supply. Game 3 between the Dodgers and Blue Jays lasted 18 innings, featured five intentional walks for Shohei Ohtani, and finally ended when Freddie Freeman — half-legend, half-insomniac at that point — launched a walk-off homer just as the world was starting to remember what sunrise looked like. And in a twist that feels less like coincidence and more like cosmic trolling, the game once again followed a national anthem sung by Brad Paisley, who has now become baseball’s unofficial harbinger of free baseball: wherever Paisley sings “dawn's early light,” dawn inevitably arrives before the scoreboard says goodnight.
*** Now chatting in #WorldSeriesGame3 ***
DanTheShulman: bottom of the 18th, tied 5–5
this game started in the evening and is now legally a brunch
ShoheiCanYouSee: you could try pitching to me
just a suggestion
MadMax31: lol no
enjoy your fifth walk, demigod
we would rather fight the concept of offense
ShoheiCanYouSee: 🙁
appreciation for creativity, though
DodgerFan999: i have consumed four hot dogs and the concept of linear time is gone
i forgot where i live
my family thinks i went out for milk yesterday
Ump_Lou: we are running out of baseballs
we are now using “backup emergency baseball allotment B”
if this goes 4 more innings we start throwing rolled up socks
*** MyBadPaisley has entered the chat ***
MyBadPaisley: well howdy
once again i have arisen
and once again baseball has chosen eternity
DodgerFan999: WHY DOES EVERY GAME YOU SING GO 18 INNINGS
MyBadPaisley: some men sing the anthem
others summon bonus innings like ancient incantations
i am the second one
DodgerFan999: please stop
my eyes are sandy
my soul is leaking peanuts
ShoheiCanYouSee: i have been walked so many times i should file for commuter miles
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: 18 INNINGS???
there are marriages shorter than this game
they said baseball is a marathon, not a sprint
but i've aged a decade watching foul balls
Ump_Lou: please do not age violently near the baseballs
we need every sphere
*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
THIS MAN IS AN AGENT OF EXTRA FRAMES
A BRINGER OF BONUS BASEBALL
OLD JIMBO CALLS HIM “THE DUKE OF DOUBLEHEADERS”
MyBadPaisley: i merely sing
the universe does the rest
FreddieFreeMoon: alright y’all
daddy’s tired
/CRACK
DanTheShulman: HIGH FLY BALL… DEEP RIGHT… AND FINALLY — MERCY!
FREDDIE FREEMAN WALKS IT OFF IN THE 18TH!
IT ONLY TOOK HALF A GEOLOGIC ERA!
Ump_Lou: thank you
now i am going to lie face-first in the umpire room carpet
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: next time someone brings up “pace of play”
i’m mailing them this entire box score
in pieces
with threats
WORDUPTHOME: FREDDIE FREED THE PEOPLE
AND I THINK I SEE THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT, TOO
JIMJAM IS GOING TO BED
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: FINAL: Dodgers 6, Blue Jays 5 (18 innings)
Second 18-inning World Series game ever; Brad Paisley also sang anthem in the first one
Coincidence? Or country-powered chaos?
*** FreddieFreeMoon has left to ice his everything ***
*** Ump_Lou has passed out mid-emoji ***
*** MyBadPaisley has left to tune a guitar ominously ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to rage-nap ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left humming “Take Me Out to the Ballgame Again (And Again)” ***
