For the first time ever, The Dugout isn’t just logging on — it’s logging back. Way back. In this opening chapter of a three-part time-travel trilogy, the chatroom glitches, the AOL door creaks open, and somehow Jim Thome finds himself staring into the moral abyss of 1919. Baseball is still young, money is scarce, gamblers are everywhere, and the White Sox are about to make history for all the wrong reasons. With the benefit of hindsight, misplaced optimism, and Old Jimbo’s uniquely earnest wisdom, The Dugout heads to the moment when the game nearly lost its soul — and discovers that even a century later, baseball’s biggest arguments never really change.
*** Now chatting in #SpeakeasySlugFest ***
ShoelessButOnline: hey fellas
what if we didn’t win the World Series
like, not just lose
but LO$E, if you catch my drift 💸
EightMenOutOfPocket: uhhhh
you feeling alright joe
you just hit .375 in the Series
kinda weird time to become philosophical
FixyMcGhee: no no i get what he’s saying
“accidentally” boot a few grounders
drop a pop-up here, overthrow the cutoff man there
and boom
suddenly you’re the proud owner of a suspiciously large sack with a dollar sign on it
TyCobbler: this is why i don’t trust teammates
i once slide-tackled my own catcher for blinking too much
also i’m not in this scandal because i was too busy threatening umpires with a hammer
LeftyPitcher1919: are we sure this is a bad idea
like we get paid peanuts
literal peanuts
and i have to work at a glue factory in the offseason
*** OldHossRageFest has entered the chat ***
OldHossRageFest: IN MY DAY
WE PITCHED THREE DOUBLEHEADERS IN A ROW WITH A BROKEN TIBIA
AND IF YOU LOST ON PURPOSE
THE COMMISSIONER PERSONALLY SET YOUR MUSTACHE ON FIRE
EightMenOutOfPocket: we don’t have a commissioner yet
that’s kind of the problem
*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat from the future ***
WORDUPTHOME: WHAT YEAR IS THIS
WHY IS EVERYONE WEARING SUSPENDERS
WHERE IS THE DH
ShoelessButOnline: who… who are you
and why do you shine with the pure light of a thousand dingers
WORDUPTHOME: I AM JIM THOME
FIRST OF HIS NAME
GUARDIAN OF CLEAN BASEBALL
DEFENDER OF FAIR PLAY
ALSO I HIT 612 HOME RUNS WITHOUT EVER THROWING A GAME
EXCEPT MONOPOLY. I GET REAL COMPETITIVE.
FixyMcGhee: is this… the ghost of baseball future
WORDUPTHOME: NO I’M FROM OHIO
TyCobbler: i hate this guy
he's too wholesome
probably drinks milk on purpose
WORDUPTHOME: MILK BUILDS STRONG BONES AND INTEGRITY
WHICH IS WHY I’M HERE TO SAY
DON’T THROW THE SERIES
YOU’LL GET BANNED
AND PEOPLE WILL SPEND THE NEXT 100 YEARS MAKING SAD MOVIES ABOUT YOU
ShoelessButOnline: but what about the money
we can’t even afford cleats
i’m literally called “Shoeless Joe”
WORDUPTHOME: I TOO PLAYED WITH BLISTERS
I TOO FOUGHT FOR RESPECT
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT’S MORE VALUABLE THAN MONEY?
EightMenOutOfPocket: honor?
WORDUPTHOME: A HALL OF FAME PLAQUE WITH CUSTOM FONT OPTIONS
WHICH YOU WILL NEVER HAVE
BECAUSE YOU LISTENED TO A GUY NAMED “CHICK GANDIL”
*** ChickStirFry has entered the chat ***
ChickStirFry: sup losers
y’all want some envelopes
fresh off the train from Cincinnati
OldHossRageFest: I’M GOING TO YEET A SPITBALL INTO YOUR SOUL
*** WORDUPTHOME has left the chat to return to 1998 and hit a 452-foot home run while smiling ***
*** TyCobbler has left the chat to punch a telegraph operator ***
*** OldHossRageFest has been banned for challenging a cornfield to a fistfight ***