Part two of our Dugout throwback trilogy leaves Chicago behind and drops the disgraced Black Sox somewhere far stranger — a quiet cornfield in Iowa, where time doesn’t behave and baseball ghosts don’t stay buried. Shoeless Joe and his teammates find themselves face-to-face with a mysterious, time-traveling farmer who seems to know far more about their legacy than he should, while Jim Thome and Kyle Farnsworth greet them with their usual mix of awe, confusion, and poorly managed rage. It’s a meeting of eras, ethics, and elbows, where the sins of 1919 collide head-on with modern baseball philosophy — and nobody is entirely sure whether they’re here for redemption… or just to play catch.

*** Now chatting in #EtherealCornfieldWiFi ***

ShoelessButOnline: hello?

where… where am I

i just walked out of a cornfield and suddenly it’s 2024

someone handed me a White Sox hat made of “performance fleece” and a hot dog that cost twelve dollars

is this heaven

WORDUPTHOME: NO

THIS IS IOWA

ShoelessButOnline: oh no

the corn dimension again

*** TimeTravelFarmer34 has entered the chat ***

TimeTravelFarmer34: hello Joe

it’s me

Ray Kinsella

i built the field

i whispered to the universe

and you came

ShoelessButOnline: yeah about that

not to sound ungrateful but you could have maybe called a lawyer instead of a ghost whisperer

like we still got banned for life

TimeTravelFarmer34: you needed peace

and maybe a chance to hit opposite-field triples off Doc Gooden’s ghost

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: WHO SUMMONED THE 1919 GUYS

I SWEAR ON MY NECK VEINS IF ANYONE BANGS ON A TRASH CAN I’M CHARGING THE CROPS

ShoelessButOnline: chill Farnsworth

we didn’t even have trash cans back then

we banged on pessimism and unregulated labor contracts

TimeTravelFarmer34: joe deserves a second chance

all of them do

just like I do

for forcing my family to mortgage our home in order to appease ghost baseball players

OldHossRageFest: BACK IN MY DAY

WE DIDN’T NEED SECOND CHANCES

WE PITCHED 600 INNINGS, THEN DIED HONORABLY IN THE DUGOUT

TimeTravelFarmer34: sir I watched you challenge a lawnmower to a duel in the outfield

WORDUPTHOME: LOOK

ALL I KNOW IS THIS

IF YOU BUILD A STADIUM

WITH LOVE

AND INDOOR PLUMBING

I WILL HIT 40 DINGERS THERE EVEN IF THE FANS ARE ALL PHANTOMS

ShoelessButOnline: i just want to know

does the Hall of Fame finally let us in

TimeTravelFarmer34: no

but the Hall of Guy Fieri does

and they gave you a plaque made of brisket

*** Bregmanomics101 has entered the chat ***

Bregmanomics101: wait you guys threw the World Series AND still got your own movie???

we got caught cheating and we barely got a Disney+ docuseries narrated by Bob Costas’s interns

ShoelessButOnline: yeah but we had to play in a haunted field in Iowa for eternity

i haven’t seen a sinker since the Coolidge administration

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: IS THIS WHERE I FILE A COMPLAINT

BECAUSE MY GHOST ERA IS HIGHER THAN MY MORTAL ONE

WORDUPTHOME: I CAME HERE

TO HIT A CORNFIELD HOME RUN

AND TO TEACH RAY’S KID HOW TO HIT A SLIDER

AND I’M ALL OUTTA SLIDERS

*** ShoelessButOnline has stepped back into the cornfield for emotional effect ***

TimeTravelFarmer34: wait

does that mean he forgives me

or that he wants to go back to 1919

or that he’s lost again and needs a snack

*** FIELD_OF_STREAMS has entered the chat ***

FIELD_OF_STREAMS: crackling radio noise

IF YOU BUILD IT

HE WILL POST

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