Our spring training caravan rolls north to Peoria (Arizona), where the Seattle Mariners are once again convincing themselves that this is the year the bottle catches lightning instead of slipping through their fingers. The AL West looks less like a gauntlet and more like an open audition, and optimism is back on the menu — cautiously reheated, but optimism nonetheless. Meanwhile, Cal Raleigh is quietly (or not so quietly) attempting to evolve past the internet’s favorite nickname, “Big Dumper,” hoping that this might be the season he’s known more for clutch October swings than for anatomy-based branding.
*** Now chatting in #MarinersPreseason ***
RoblesCop: welcome to peoria (not that one)
vibes immaculate
expectations… cautiously caffeinated
JRodTheBod: we are recapturing lightning in a bottle
we have the bottle
we have the lightning
we just need them to meet politely
CastilloThrillo: rotation looks spicy
fastballs humming
bullpen pretending not to hear that
WooThereItIs: i am healthy
i am loose
i am not googling elbow anatomy today
KirbyCommand: efficiency is key
low pitch counts
high expectations
moderate existential dread
*** CalRallyCry has entered the chat ***
CalRallyCry: hi guys
small request
can we retire “Big Dumper”
JRodTheBod: oh
RoblesCop: oh no
CastilloThrillo: this is delicate territory
CalRallyCry: i have a family
children google things
i am a professional catcher not a municipal waste solution
WooThereItIs: what are we thinking instead
CalRallyCry: “Clutch Cal”
“October Raleigh”
literally anything that doesn’t sound like a construction vehicle
KirbyCommand: statistically speaking the nickname has positive fan resonance
CalRallyCry: don’t bring analytics into this
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: big dumper is iconic
you can’t just abandon a nickname that terrifies pitchers
embrace the chaos
CalRallyCry: i would like slightly less chaos in my brand
*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
NICKNAMES ARE A GIFT FROM THE PEOPLE, SPORT
I WAS CALLED A LOT OF THINGS
MOST OF THEM PRINTABLE
OLD JIMBO SAYS IF THE CROWD CHANTS IT, YOU OWN IT
CalRallyCry: that is not the direction i was hoping for
*** DanTheManager has entered the chat ***
DanTheManager: fellas
focus
al west is wide open
no juggernaut
just vibes and mild instability
JRodTheBod: we can win this division
we have arms
we have youth
we have unresolved trauma from last october
RoblesCop: that’s fuel
CastilloThrillo: or it’s indigestion
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: Mariners report to camp with optimism high in a murky AL West.
Cal Raleigh exploring nickname rebrand.
Fanbase declines to cooperate.
CalRallyCry: i’m printing shirts that say “Clutch Cal”
JRodTheBod: they will still chant it
CalRallyCry: i know
*** WooThereItIs has left to ice something proactively ***
*** KirbyCommand has left to calculate projected win totals ***
*** CastilloThrillo has left to throw 47 bullpen pitches for fun ***
*** DanTheManager has left to say “process” in three interviews ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to start a “Keep Big Dumper” petition ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left to accidentally yell “BIG DUMPER” into a microphone ***
*** CalRallyCry has left to Google “legal nickname change” ***