Spring training is supposed to be a season of clean slates and cautious optimism, but in Fort Myers, the Twins’ clubhouse feels more like a medical waiting room. After a disappointing fourth-place finish in 2025, Minnesota entered camp hoping to regroup in a competitive AL Central. Instead, the gut punches started early. The Tigers landed Framber Valdez, immediately raising the division’s temperature. Then came the devastating news that ace Pablo López would miss the entire season following Tommy John surgery. As if that weren’t enough, Joe Ryan’s lower back flared up, leaving him day-to-day with inflammation—and every training-room update now triggers a collective flinch. With Byron Buxton’s health always hovering like a fragile subplot, the Twins aren’t just chasing wins this spring. They’re trying to survive camp without anyone pulling something tying their shoes.
*** Now chatting in #TwinsSpringTraining ***
RoccosModernLife: alright fellas
new year
fresh start
clean slate
JeffersOnStarship: skip the inspirational poster voice
what’s the injury count today
RoccosModernLife: technically… zero new ones
since breakfast
*** RehabloLopez has entered the chat ***
RehabloLopez: hey guys
so
i’m gonna be rehabbing for the next 14 months
RehabloLopez: tommy john
the elbow chose violence
RoccosModernLife: we support you 100%
positive energy
resilience
depth
JeffersOnStarship: define depth
*** NoCryinRyan has entered the chat ***
NoCryinRyan: ok good news bad news
good news it’s not structural
bad news my lower back feels like it tried to deadlift a bus
i’m “day-to-day”
which is baseball for “please don’t sneeze”
RoccosModernLife: inflammation only
we love inflammation
inflammation builds character
NoCryinRyan: that’s not how inflammation works
*** BuckWildBuxton has entered the chat ***
BuckWildBuxton: hey guys
just checking in
is it safe to stretch
or should i remain perfectly still until october
JeffersOnStarship: do not blink aggressively
BuckWildBuxton: understood
shallow breathing only
*** FramberFlamethrow has entered the chat ***
FramberFlamethrow: hello minnesota
just wanted to say hi from detroit
200 innings sound fun this year
enjoy that AL central competitiveness
JeffersOnStarship: why is he here
why does he look so durable
RoccosModernLife: it’s fine
division is wide open
except for the parts that are closed
by the tigers signing an ace lefty
NoCryinRyan: my back just flinched reading that
BuckWildBuxton: i coughed
i regret coughing
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: why are you all so tense
just throw hard and stop thinking about ligaments
the human body is mostly vibes anyway
JeffersOnStarship: that is medically incorrect
*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
I PLAYED IN THE AL CENTRAL
I KNOW THE FEELING
EVERY TEAM LOOKS SCARY
EVERY MRI LOOKS SCARIER
BUT LISTEN
BASEBALL REWARDS COURAGE
AND MODERATE FLEXIBILITY
BuckWildBuxton: i would like less flexibility actually
RoccosModernLife: we’re fine
we just need health
consistency
and for nobody to move suddenly
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: TWINS SPRING UPDATE:
- Pablo López out for 2026 with Tommy John surgery
- Joe Ryan day-to-day (lower back inflammation)
- Framber Valdez signs with Tigers
- Byron Buxton remains healthy as long as no one makes eye contact
BuckWildBuxton: please do not make eye contact
*** RehabloLopez has left to begin long, patient rehab ***
*** NoCryinRyan has left to lie flat on the clubhouse carpet ***
*** BuckWildBuxton has left to enter a hyperbaric chamber made of bubble wrap ***
*** RoccosModernLife has left to print “STAY CALM” signs for the entire facility ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to sneeze recklessly ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left to whisper “OLD JIMBO BELIEVES” into a heating pad ***
