Spring training is supposed to be about routine grounders, pitch limits, and coaches squinting at clipboards in the Arizona sun. Instead, one otherwise forgettable Cactus League matchup between the Giants and Cubs took a hard left turn when a rogue bathroom cigarette set off a chain reaction that spiraled onto the field. What began as a minor stadium rule infraction somehow ended in one of the strangest triple plays anyone can remember — the kind that only counts in the box score, but lives forever in Dugout legend.
*** Now chatting in #GiantsPreseason ***
RayOfDread: alright boys, four pitches in
feeling good
nice easy sunday
*** SIRENS BLARE ***
Alarmageddon: A fire has been detected in the bathroom. Please make your way to the exits.
This is not a drill. Please evacuate this outdoor concrete structure that has no risk of burning down.
RayOfDread: what in the world is that
*** Ump_Lou has entered the chat ***
Ump_Lou: game continues
ignore the apocalypse
play ball
RayOfDread: play ball??
there are literal sirens
Ump_Lou: just pretend you're back in detroit
*** GoShawty has entered the chat ***
GoShawty: walked
chaos vibes
love that for me
*** Bregmanomics101 has entered the chat ***
Bregmanomics101: also walked
sirens are kind of my aesthetic
RayOfDread: i can’t hear the pitchcom
i can’t hear my thoughts
i think i just heard a fire truck inside my soul
*** SayHeySeiya has entered the chat ***
SayHeySeiya: bloop
just a polite little single
GoShawty: oh that’s a run
i score here right
wait what do i do
SayHeySeiya: brb, trying to take second
*** DeversCrush16 has cut off the throw ***
DeversCrush16: no
you do not
*** SayHeySeiya has been thrown out at second ***
SayHeySeiya: i regret ambition
*** Bregmanomics101 has entered the chat again ***
Bregmanomics101: wait
are we running
am i running
why is shaw still on third
*** Bregmanomics101 has been tagged wandering between second and third ***
Bregmanomics101: this feels unfair
i was mid-existential crisis
*** GoShawty has entered the chat again ***
GoShawty: wait is the inning over
the sirens stopped
feels over
i’m gonna just… step off third real quick
*** MattChappySlaps has entered the chat ***
MattChappySlaps: hi matt shaw
tag
you’re out
*** TRIPLE PLAY ***
RayOfDread:
what
just
happened
*** Ump_Lou has entered the chat ***
Ump_Lou: inning over
also please stop smoking in the bathroom
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: this is why i don’t trust spring training
one cigarette and suddenly you’ve got a circus act triple play
i guess the surgeon general was right
*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
I HAVE SEEN A LOT OF BASEBALL
BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN A TRIPLE PLAY CAUSED BY NICOTINE
THAT’S WHAT I CALL A HOT CORNER SITUATION
OLD JIMBO SAYS PUT THAT ONE IN THE HISTORY BOOKS
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: FINAL RULING:
4-3-6-5 wandering existential triple play
Triggered by fan smoking in restroom
Baseball remains extremely normal
*** RayOfDread has left to re-center his chakras ***
*** GoShawty has left to review base-running fundamentals ***
*** Bregmanomics101 has left to demand a siren timeout rule ***
*** MattChappySlaps has left to request chaos bonus in contract ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left humming “SMOKE ON THE BASEPATH” ***