Joshua Baez wasted no time introducing himself to the majors. Making his Cardinals debut Saturday at Wrigley Field, the rookie launched a 449-foot home run to center on the very first pitch he saw, then somehow topped that by homering in each of his first three big-league at-bats. The historic performance instantly turned Baez into the newest object of affection for the self-proclaimed Best Fans in Baseball™ (at least for now), while even the late Jack Buck might have had trouble finding enough superlatives for a debut that felt less like a first game and more like a hostile takeover of Wrigley Field.
*** Now chatting in #WrigleyField ***
*** BaezAndConfused has entered the chat ***
BaezAndConfused: hey guys
first day
anything i should know
*** BestFansInBaseball™ has entered the chat ***
BestFansInBaseball™: welcome to the cardinals
we are very patient with young players
provided they immediately understand the cardinal way
BaezAndConfused: what's the cardinal way
BestFansInBaseball™: fundamentals
respect
winning baseball
and never making us wait more than one pitch for a home run
BaezAndConfused: okay
*** CubsBleacherBum has entered the chat ***
CubsBleacherBum: first major league at-bat at wrigley
kid's probably nervous
*** MatthewVoid has entered the chat ***
MatthewVoid: i'll ease him in
fastball
*** BaezAndConfused swings at the first pitch of his major league career ***
*** CRACK ***
BaezAndConfused: oh
did that go out
CubsBleacherBum: ...
MatthewVoid: ...
BestFansInBaseball™: FOUR HUNDRED FORTY-NINE FEET
WE HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN HIM
BaezAndConfused: i've been in the majors for like forty seconds
BestFansInBaseball™: and we have believed in you for all forty
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: Joshua Báez homered 449 feet to center field on the first pitch of his first Major League plate appearance.
Analysts describe this as “making a good first impression.”
CubsBleacherBum: that ball almost hit the red line train
MatthewVoid: new plan
don't throw that pitch again
*** Later ***
BaezAndConfused: okay
second at-bat
BestFansInBaseball™: no pressure
although stan musial would have homered again
BaezAndConfused: that feels like pressure
MatthewVoid: changeup
BaezAndConfused: thanks
*** CRACK ***
CubsBleacherBum: you've got to be kidding me
BestFansInBaseball™: TWO
TWO CAREER AT-BATS
TWO HOME RUNS
BaezAndConfused: is this normal
MatthewVoid: no
BestFansInBaseball™: for cardinals prospects
absolutely
CubsBleacherBum: you guys had never seen him before today
BestFansInBaseball™: we saw the reports
CubsBleacherBum: you were complaining about his strikeout rate yesterday
BestFansInBaseball™: development takes patience
which we have demonstrated for nearly three innings
*** GhostOfJackBuck has entered the chat ***
GhostOfJackBuck: pardon me
BaezAndConfused: uh
jack buck?
GhostOfJackBuck: I've been listening.
Thought I'd stop by.
BestFansInBaseball™: JACK
TELL HIM ABOUT CARDINALS BASEBALL
GhostOfJackBuck: First thing I'd tell him is to ignore you people.
BestFansInBaseball™: fair
GhostOfJackBuck: Young man, there are easier ways to introduce yourself.
BaezAndConfused: i kind of liked this one
GhostOfJackBuck: So did I.
One pitch.
Four hundred forty-nine feet.
Not much time for a broadcaster to clear his throat.
*** Sixth inning ***
BaezAndConfused: i'm up again
MatthewVoid: please stop announcing that
CubsBleacherBum: surely this can't happen three times
BestFansInBaseball™: josh
remember
play the game the right way
BaezAndConfused: what does that mean here
BestFansInBaseball™: homer again
BaezAndConfused: got it
*** CRACK ***
MatthewVoid: no
CubsBleacherBum: NO
BestFansInBaseball™: THREEEEEEEEEE
GhostOfJackBuck: I don't believe what I just saw.
MLB_NewsBot: Joshua Báez has become the first player in Major League history to hit three home runs in his debut, doing so in his first three at-bats.
BaezAndConfused: wait
nobody has ever done that?
MLB_NewsBot: Correct.
BaezAndConfused: ruth?
MLB_NewsBot: No.
BaezAndConfused: bonds?
MLB_NewsBot: No.
BaezAndConfused: pujols?
BestFansInBaseball™: DON'T BRING UP THE ANGELS YEARS
MLB_NewsBot: No.
BaezAndConfused: wow
GhostOfJackBuck: Three trips to the plate.
Three home runs.
That's not a debut.
That's a hostile takeover.
*** MarmolAde has entered the chat ***
MarmolAde: joshua
terrific job
BaezAndConfused: thanks skip
MarmolAde: just keep doing what you're doing
BaezAndConfused: hit a home run every time?
MarmolAde: ideally
BaezAndConfused: seems sustainable
BestFansInBaseball™: VERY sustainable
career pace of 486 home runs per season
MarmolAde: please don't calculate that
BestFansInBaseball™: too late
hall of fame plaque is being engraved
BaezAndConfused: i've played six innings
BestFansInBaseball™: cardinal for life
CubsBleacherBum: this is unbearable
BestFansInBaseball™: jealousy is unbecoming
CubsBleacherBum: you guys boo your own players after two bad weeks
BestFansInBaseball™: accountability is love
GhostOfJackBuck: That's one way to put it.
*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
WORDUPTHOME: JOSHUA
THREE HOME RUNS IN YOUR FIRST THREE AT-BATS
THAT IS WHAT OLD JIMBO CALLS
GETTING OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT
AND THEN THE LEFT FOOT
AND THEN I GUESS THE RIGHT FOOT AGAIN
BaezAndConfused: thanks jim
WORDUPTHOME: I HIT 612 HOME RUNS
BUT I DID NOT HIT THREE BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO MEET EVERYBODY
BestFansInBaseball™: jim
would you say joshua is already the greatest baez to ever play at wrigley
*** ElMagoMode has entered the chat ***
ElMagoMode: excuse me
BestFansInBaseball™: we said what we said
ElMagoMode: i won a world series here
BestFansInBaseball™: joshua has never struck out in the postseason
ElMagoMode: HE HAS NEVER PLAYED IN THE POSTSEASON
BestFansInBaseball™: exactly
flawless
BaezAndConfused: are we related
ElMagoMode: no
BaezAndConfused: cool
just checking
*** Eighth inning ***
BaezAndConfused: fourth at-bat
CubsBleacherBum: don't
BestFansInBaseball™: history awaits
GhostOfJackBuck: Now here's the hard part.
BaezAndConfused: what's that
GhostOfJackBuck: Baseball eventually reminds everybody who's in charge.
*** BaezAndConfused lines out ***
BaezAndConfused: oh
BestFansInBaseball™: ...
WHAT HAPPENED
MarmolAde: he made an out
BestFansInBaseball™: can we option him
BaezAndConfused: wow
that turned fast
GhostOfJackBuck: Welcome to St. Louis.
BestFansInBaseball™: WE ARE JOKING
MOSTLY
MLB_NewsBot: FINAL: Cardinals 8, Cubs 4.
Joshua Báez finishes his MLB debut 3-for-4 with three home runs and five RBIs.
BestFansInBaseball™: statues
we need statues
MarmolAde: let's give him a second game first
BestFansInBaseball™: compromise
small statue
GhostOfJackBuck: I've called a lot of baseball.
Never called that.
BaezAndConfused: so what do i do tomorrow
GhostOfJackBuck: Same thing every ballplayer does.
Come back and prove today wasn't a dream.
BestFansInBaseball™: preferably with three more home runs
GhostOfJackBuck: Ignore them.
*** BaezAndConfused has left to discover that a career OPS can technically go down ***
*** MatthewVoid has left to request that rookies begin with a mandatory take sign ***
*** CubsBleacherBum has left to check whether Wrigley offers refunds for historic debuts ***
*** ElMagoMode has left to trademark “the OG Báez” ***
*** BestFansInBaseball™ has left to pretend it never doubted him in the minors ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left to remind everyone that YOU ONLY GET ONE FIRST IMPRESSION, UNLESS YOU HIT THREE OF THEM ***
*** GhostOfJackBuck has left to tell Harry Caray he missed a good one ***