A nor’easter threatening Boston forced Major League Baseball to move the Red Sox-Cubs regular-season finale to a neutral site, which sounded reasonable right up until the league announced that the destination would be sunny St. Petersburg and Tropicana Field—the strangest indoor ballpark in the sport. The matchup had initially carried real playoff implications for both clubs, but by the time the game rolled around, results elsewhere had already locked the seeding into place. So two historic franchises ended their regular seasons hundreds of miles from home, beneath a maze of catwalks, in a game that no longer had much bearing on October at all. Naturally, Rob Manfred considered this a successful logistical solution.

*** Now chatting in #FinalDayChaos ***

*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***

MLB_NewsBot: WEATHER UPDATE: A powerful nor'easter is expected to impact Boston during the final day of the regular season.

Cubs-Red Sox could carry significant playoff implications for both clubs.

Major League Baseball has moved the game to a neutral site.

*** GivePCAChance has entered the chat ***

GivePCAChance: okay

makes sense

somewhere between chicago and boston?

*** ItsATrevorStory has entered the chat ***

ItsATrevorStory: pittsburgh?

GivePCAChance: cleveland?

ItsATrevorStory: cincinnati?

GivePCAChance: detroit?

ItsATrevorStory: even buffalo wouldn't be insane

MLB_NewsBot: The neutral site will be—

Tropicana Field.

*** The chatroom goes silent ***

ItsATrevorStory: florida

GivePCAChance: FLORIDA florida?

MLB_NewsBot: St. Petersburg, Florida.

GivePCAChance: that's not between us

ItsATrevorStory: that's not between ANYTHING

*** rob_manfred.exe has entered the chat ***

rob_manfred.exe: good afternoon, stakeholders 🙂

ItsATrevorStory: rob

why are we going to tampa

rob_manfred.exe: weather certainty 🙂

GivePCAChance: there are like twelve major league parks closer

rob_manfred.exe: tropicana field offers a controlled indoor climate 🙂

ItsATrevorStory: it also offers catwalks

rob_manfred.exe: vertical architectural engagement 🙂

GivePCAChance: a roof the color of old oatmeal

rob_manfred.exe: neutral visual environment 🙂

ItsATrevorStory: foul balls that become geometry problems

rob_manfred.exe: enhanced strategic complexity 🙂

*** CubsBleacherBum has entered the chat ***

CubsBleacherBum: so let me understand

chicago and boston

are playing in tampa bay

rob_manfred.exe: correct 🙂

CubsBleacherBum: on the final day of the season

rob_manfred.exe: correct 🙂

CubsBleacherBum: in a stadium neither team plays in

rob_manfred.exe: that's what makes it neutral 🙂

CubsBleacherBum: there were no options between massachusetts and illinois

rob_manfred.exe: there were many options 🙂

CubsBleacherBum: ...

why didn't you use one

rob_manfred.exe: tropicana field was available 🙂

*** WillSonAlsoRises has entered the chat ***

WillSonAlsoRises: so was my uncle's backyard

he's got lights

capacity 34 if everyone brings a lawn chair

rob_manfred.exe: inadequate premium inventory 🙂

WillSonAlsoRises: concessions are free

rob_manfred.exe: unacceptable

*** TropItLikeItsHot has entered the chat ***

TropItLikeItsHot: DID SOMEBODY SAY PLAYOFF-ADJACENT BASEBALL

ItsATrevorStory: oh no

TropItLikeItsHot: I'M BACK BABY

GivePCAChance: nobody asked

TropItLikeItsHot: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE ME

YOU THOUGHT BASEBALL HAD MOVED ON

BUT WHEN THE SPORT NEEDS ME MOST

I DESCEND FROM THE CEILING LIKE A FOUL BALL OFF CATWALK B

ItsATrevorStory: please don't say “descend from the ceiling”

TropItLikeItsHot: CHECK THE GROUND RULES

GivePCAChance: how many pages

TropItLikeItsHot: YES

*** IanHappilyEverAfter has entered the chat ***

IanHappilyEverAfter: okay

practical question

what happens if i hit the roof

TropItLikeItsHot: WHICH PART

IanHappilyEverAfter: the roof

TropItLikeItsHot: INCORRECT

THERE ARE MULTIPLE ZONES

IanHappilyEverAfter: of roof

TropItLikeItsHot: NOW YOU'RE LEARNING

HIT ONE CATWALK

BALL IN PLAY

HIT ANOTHER

DEAD BALL

HIT A THIRD

SUMMONS A FACILITIES MANAGER

IanHappilyEverAfter: i'm going to aim for the ground

*** DeversityToday has entered the chat ***

DeversityToday: do we at least get batting practice

TropItLikeItsHot: absolutely

DeversityToday: good

TropItLikeItsHot: unless the lights flicker

DeversityToday: why would the lights flicker

TropItLikeItsHot: character

*** CounsellChair has entered the chat ***

CounsellChair: okay everyone

let's remember the purpose here

safety

GivePCAChance: whose safety

CounsellChair: the fans

WillSonAlsoRises: by sending them 1,300 miles away

CounsellChair: yes

WillSonAlsoRises: to florida

CounsellChair: yes

WillSonAlsoRises: with one day's notice

CounsellChair: ticket availability should be excellent

TropItLikeItsHot: EXTREMELY EXCELLENT

HISTORICALLY EXCELLENT

ItsATrevorStory: that's not helping

*** BestFansInBaseball™ has entered the chat ***

BestFansInBaseball™: as neutral observers

GivePCAChance: nobody asked you

BestFansInBaseball™: we simply believe meaningful baseball should be played in a traditional baseball environment

ItsATrevorStory: you're about to say st. louis

BestFansInBaseball™: st. louis

ItsATrevorStory: goodbye

BestFansInBaseball™: OUR BALLPARK HAS NO CATWALKS

TropItLikeItsHot: COWARDS

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i like it

GivePCAChance: of course you do

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: two playoff teams

weird building

nobody knows the rules

this is combat baseball

ItsATrevorStory: it's a dome

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: exactly

cage match

GivePCAChance: nobody is fighting

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: not with that attitude

*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat ***

WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI

JIM THOME

WORDUPTHOME: I THINK THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY

ItsATrevorStory: for what

WORDUPTHOME: SOMETIMES LIFE THROWS YOU A CURVEBALL

AND SOMETIMES IT THROWS YOU A CURVEBALL IN FLORIDA

AND SOMETIMES THAT CURVEBALL HITS A CATWALK

AND THEN OLD JIMBO IS NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT HAPPENS

TropItLikeItsHot: CHECK THE GROUND RULES JIM

WORDUPTHOME: I STARTED READING THEM

THEN I GOT HUNGRY

*** TravelDepartment has entered the chat ***

TravelDepartment: update

ItsATrevorStory: please tell me we're going somewhere normal

TravelDepartment: charter flights confirmed to tampa

GivePCAChance: hotel?

TravelDepartment: yes

ItsATrevorStory: buses?

TravelDepartment: yes

IanHappilyEverAfter: batting cages?

TravelDepartment: yes

DeversityToday: crowd?

TravelDepartment: working on that

TropItLikeItsHot: I HAVE SOME TARPS WE CAN REMOVE

ItsATrevorStory: that's not a crowd

TropItLikeItsHot: IT CREATES THE ILLUSION OF OPTIMISM

*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***

MLB_NewsBot: Both Boston and Chicago's postseason seeding has been finalized.

Sunday's game is now irrelevant as far as playoffs are concerned.

It will be played approximately 1,200 miles from Boston.

This is officially considered a neutral-site solution.

WillSonAlsoRises: “solution”

GivePCAChance: doing incredible work there

rob_manfred.exe: logistical creativity is essential in a changing climate 🙂

ItsATrevorStory: did anyone ask the rays if we can use their park

TropItLikeItsHot: WHO

ItsATrevorStory: the rays

TropItLikeItsHot: OH

THEM

GivePCAChance: this place has abandonment issues

*** Game Day — Tropicana Field ***

TropItLikeItsHot: WELCOME

TO THE THUNDERDOME

IanHappilyEverAfter: there are 8,000 people here

TropItLikeItsHot: PLAYOFF ATMOSPHERE

WillSonAlsoRises: half of them came because they thought this was a boat show

TropItLikeItsHot: MULTIUSE FACILITY

ItsATrevorStory: why is there a ball stuck on the catwalk already

GivePCAChance: nobody has taken batting practice

TropItLikeItsHot: LEGACY BALL

rob_manfred.exe: heritage feature 🙂

*** first inning ***

*** IanHappilyEverAfter launches a towering fly ball **

IanHappilyEverAfter: that's gone

ItsATrevorStory: definitely gone

TropItLikeItsHot: WAIT FOR IT

*** CLANG ***

IanHappilyEverAfter: ...

Ump_Lou: TIME

IanHappilyEverAfter: home run?

Ump_Lou: hold on

/removes laminated ground-rule card

let's see

Ump_Lou: orange ring

inner catwalk

fair territory

section 7 subsection—

IanHappilyEverAfter: I HIT THE BALL 410 FEET

Ump_Lou: ground-rule double

IanHappilyEverAfter: I HATE THIS BUILDING

TropItLikeItsHot: YOU'LL MISS ME WHEN I'M GONE

GivePCAChance: we've been trying

*** rob_manfred.exe has entered the chat ***

rob_manfred.exe: early metrics indicate strong social engagement around the catwalk incident 🙂

ItsATrevorStory: rob

this game could have decided our season

rob_manfred.exe: exactly 🙂

stakes amplify eccentricity 🙂

GivePCAChance: you deliberately sent us here because it would be weird

rob_manfred.exe: i would not characterize it that way 🙂

TropItLikeItsHot: I WOULD

THEY CHOSE ME BECAUSE I AM BEAUTIFUL

*** piece of ceiling insulation falls behind second base ***

TropItLikeItsHot: IGNORE THAT

*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat ***

WORDUPTHOME: YOU KNOW

OLD JIMBO HAS PLAYED IN A LOT OF BALLPARKS

AND EVERY BALLPARK HAS ITS OWN PERSONALITY

WRIGLEY HAS IVY

FENWAY HAS THE GREEN MONSTER

WORDUPTHOME: TROPICANA HAS

...

INFRASTRUCTURE

TropItLikeItsHot: THANK YOU JIM

WORDUPTHOME: I DID NOT MEAN IT AS A COMPLIMENT

ItsATrevorStory: so let me summarize

we avoided a nor'easter

GivePCAChance: flew to florida

ItsATrevorStory: played indoors

GivePCAChance: under catwalks

ItsATrevorStory: in front of a neutral crowd

GivePCAChance: for a game that no longer affects playoff seeding

TropItLikeItsHot: BUT YOU MADE MEMORIES

GivePCAChance: mostly questions

rob_manfred.exe: fan curiosity is a form of engagement 🙂

regardless of outcome, we believe today's neutral-site event demonstrates baseball's adaptability 🙂

WillSonAlsoRises: next year just play it in an airport hangar

rob_manfred.exe: noted 🙂

GivePCAChance: ROB NO

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: airplane hangar baseball

i'm listening

ItsATrevorStory: nobody encourage him

WORDUPTHOME: I THINK THE IMPORTANT THING IS

NO MATTER WHERE YOU PLAY

BASEBALL IS STILL BASEBALL

*** CLANG ***

WORDUPTHOME: UNLESS THE BALL HITS THE CEILING

THEN YOU SHOULD CHECK THE GROUND RULES

*** MLB_NewsBot has left to determine whether the final playoff spot is subject to Catwalk Rule 3B ***

*** GivePCAChance has left to ask why Milwaukee wasn't available ***

*** ItsATrevorStory has left to navigate from Boston to Florida using only the phrase “neutral site” ***

*** WillSonAlsoRises has left to shovel snow at Fenway out of spite ***

*** IanHappilyEverAfter has left to file an appeal against architecture ***

*** TropItLikeItsHot has left to whisper “you could never quit me” into the Florida night ***

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to challenge Catwalk B to a steel-cage match ***

*** WORDUPTHOME has left to remind everyone that THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE DOME ***

*** rob_manfred.exe has left to explore postseason games at Mall of America 🙂 ***