The Home Run Derby comes to Philadelphia, where every visiting player is public enemy number one, every hometown player is one strike away from becoming public enemy number two, and even the kids shagging baseballs aren't safe. Jordan Walker survived the boos, beat Kyle Schwarber in dramatic fashion, and left with both the trophy and the night's best one-liner.

*** Now chatting in #ExcuseMeIDemandToSpeakToMLB ***

K4R3N: EXCUSE ME

WHY ARE THERE NON-PHILLIES HERE

MLB_NewsBot: Welcome to the Home Run Derby.

Contestants from around Major League Baseball.

K4R3N: I SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED

ONLY PHILLIES

WillSonAlsoRises: that's...

not really how this works

PhilliePhan420: BOOOOOOOOO

*** JordanSkyWalker has entered the chat ***

JordanSkyWalker: evening

PhilliePhan420: BOOOOOOOOO

JordanSkyWalker: i literally just got here

K4R3N: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

JordanSkyWalker: i genuinely don't

*** fly ball lands in the outfield ***

OKBoomer07: got it!

K4R3N: BOOOOOOOOO

OKBoomer07: ma'am

i'm just catching baseballs

K4R3N: YOU CAUGHT IT WRONG

OKBoomer07: ...there's a wrong way?

TXBackstop34: i missed one

PhilliePhan420: ALSO BOOOOO

TXBackstop34: i'm volunteering

K4R3N: NOT GOOD ENOUGH

MLB_NewsBot: Update: Philadelphia crowd now booing children retrieving baseballs.

*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI

*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***

WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI

JIM THOME

WORDUPTHOME: I HAVE PLAYED IN PHILADELPHIA

THIS TRACKS

*** SchwarAndPeace has entered the chat ***

SchwarAndPeace: alright

enough fooling around

let's bring this home

PhilliePhan420: SCHWARBBBBBBBBB

*** final round ***

JordanSkyWalker: nice crowd

very welcoming

PhilliePhan420: BOOOOOOOOOOO

JordanSkyWalker: figured

*** Jordan Walker hits walkoff home run ***

MLB_NewsBot: Jordan Walker wins the Home Run Derby over Kyle Schwarber.

*** absolute silence for half a second ***

PhilliePhan420: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JordanSkyWalker: thank you

i'd like to say a few words

JordanSkyWalker: i was once told

"you don't boo nobodies."

*** chat freezes ***

WillSonAlsoRises: OH HE CAME PREPARED

OKBoomer07: that's actually pretty good

SchwarAndPeace: alright

i respect it

K4R3N: BOOOOOOOOOOO

JordanSkyWalker: see?

now i know i made it

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that's elite

win the derby

beat the hometown guy

then hit 'em with a one-liner

no notes

PhilliePhan420: BOOOOOOOOOOO

JordanSkyWalker: are you booing me

PhilliePhan420: YES

JordanSkyWalker: or Kyle

PhilliePhan420: YES

TXBackstop34: or us?

PhilliePhan420: ...YES

K4R3N: ...

I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK

TO THE COMMISSIONER

*** rob_manfred.exe has entered the chat ***

rob_manfred.exe: hello valued fan 🙂

thank you for your feedback

K4R3N: I WAS PROMISED

A PHILLY WINNER

rob_manfred.exe: no such guarantee exists

K4R3N: THEN WHAT AM I PAYING FOR

rob_manfred.exe: the booing experience

K4R3N: ...FAIR

MLB_NewsBot: Jordan Walker wins the Home Run Derby.

Philadelphia crowd boos opponents, children, and several inanimate objects.

Philly Karen files a formal complaint with gravity for allowing baseballs to travel too far.

WORDUPTHOME: SOME CITIES

GIVE YOU A STANDING OVATION

PHILADELPHIA

GIVES YOU A STANDING BOO

WORDUPTHOME: AND HONESTLY

THAT MEANS THEY WERE PAYING ATTENTION

*** JordanSkyWalker has left with the trophy ***

*** K4R3N has left to demand a recount of home runs ***

*** rob_manfred.exe has left after marking complaint #4,287 as "resolved" ***

*** OKBoomer07 has left with emotional damage and one souvenir baseball ***

*** PhilliePhan420 remains in the chat, booing the "Leave Chat" button ***