The confetti has barely settled in Chavez Ravine, and already the Los Angeles Dodgers are operating like a dynasty that refuses to exhale. Back-to-back World Series titles have turned “contention window” into “permanent residence,” and the rest of baseball is left squinting up at a roster that feels less assembled than engineered. As pitchers and catchers report, the question isn’t whether the Dodgers will reload — they always do — but how a team already dripping in star power, payroll, and parade muscle plans to improve on inevitability. In the first installment of our spring training tour, we check in on the reigning kings of October, where champagne stains are still fresh and the luxury tax bill is probably laminated.

*** Now chatting in #DodgersPreseason ***

ShoheiCanYouSee: hello

parade was efficient

i threw a ceremonial strike from the float

it broke three cameras

*** BettsAndPieces has entered the chat ***

BettsAndPieces: i’m still finding champagne in my cleats

we won again

this is getting repetitive in a pleasant way

*** FreddieFreeMoon has entered the chat ***

FreddieFreeMoon: back-to-back world champs

i’m smiling so hard it’s medically concerning

someone hide the trophy before shohei tries to pitch it

*** RoboDave has entered the chat ***

RoboDave: okay gentlemen

celebrate responsibly

we are now 0-0 again

the hunt for three begins

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: of course it does

you people treat championships like pokemon cards

“gotta catch em all”

*** rob_manfred.exe has entered the chat ***

rob_manfred.exe: dynasties are good for narrative continuity 🙂

narrative continuity is good for ratings 🙂

please continue winning tastefully 🙂

BettsAndPieces: tastefully??

we had a mariachi band on the bullpen cart

*** YoshiSamurai18 has entered the chat ***

YoshiSamurai18: i have adjusted to american champagne

it is louder than japanese champagne

but the trophy is the same weight

*** GlasNowOrNever has entered the chat ***

GlasNowOrNever: i blinked and we won two

i’m just trying to keep my elbow from celebrating too hard

*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat ***

WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI

JIM THOME

BACK-TO-BACK IS HARD

THREE-PEAT IS LEGENDARY

OLD JIMBO SAYS IF YOU’RE GONNA BE THE EMPIRE

AT LEAST MAKE IT ENTERTAINING

ShoheiCanYouSee: we will attempt entertainment

i might bat ninth one day

keep it interesting

FreddieFreeMoon: don’t you dare

*** AndrewFreedMoney has entered the chat ***

AndrewFreedMoney: hello from accounting

payroll remains robust

luxury tax remains theoretical

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: THEORETICAL???

you treat the tax like it’s a suggestion box

AndrewFreedMoney: suggestion noted

*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***

MLB_NewsBot: OFFSEASON STATUS: Dodgers enter spring as back-to-back World Series champions.

Front office expected to pursue “additional complementary superstars.”

Rest of league reportedly exhausted.

BettsAndPieces: so what now

RoboDave: same thing as always

spring training

fundamentals

and then probably october again

*** ShoheiCanYouSee has left to casually defy economics ***

*** AndrewFreedMoney has left to refinance the moon ***

*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to punch a salary cap ***

*** WORDUPTHOME has left to design a hypothetical third ring ***

*** Dodgers have left to remain inevitable ***