The Red Sox have clawed their way back into the American League wild-card race since firing Alex Cora, but Jarren Duran has not exactly joined the revival. Batting .195 and already drawing attention for confrontations with fans, the volatile outfielder added a teammate to the list in Sacramento when he screamed at Willson Contreras for failing to tag from third on a pop fly that was nowhere near deep enough to score him. Duran carried the argument into the dugout, slammed down an iPad and hurled his helmet into a pipe, unleashing a stream of water inside the Athletics’ makeshift ballpark. Boston may finally be playing meaningful baseball again, but its wildest player is still finding new ways to spring a leak.
*** Now chatting in #SacramentoAAA ***
RedSoxNation: welcome to sacramento
temporary home of the athletics
permanent home of exposed plumbing
*** DallasBraden420 has entered the chat ***
DallasBraden420: hey
this is a major league ballpark
RedSoxNation: you share it with a minor league team
DallasBraden420: major league-adjacent ballpark
RedSoxNation: your left field wall has a coupon code on it
DallasBraden420: revenue innovation
*** HungryLikeTheWolf has entered the chat ***
HungryLikeTheWolf: CAN EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE STADIUM
WE HAVE A GAME TO WIN
*** ItsATrevorStory has entered the chat ***
ItsATrevorStory: we're actually doing pretty well lately
ever since our manager got fired
HungryLikeTheWolf: I KNOW
I'M PART OF THE TURNAROUND
ItsATrevorStory: you're hitting .195
HungryLikeTheWolf: BATTING AVERAGE IS TOXIC
ItsATrevorStory: so is yelling at fans
HungryLikeTheWolf: THEY STARTED IT
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: Boston has surged back into the American League wild-card race following the dismissal of manager Alex Cora.
Jarren Duran has not participated statistically in the surge.
Duran is batting .195 and remains among the league leaders in arguments initiated.
*** WillSonAlsoRises has entered the chat ***
WillSonAlsoRises: runner on third
one out
let's get him home
HungryLikeTheWolf: leave it to me
/lifts a shallow pop fly toward left field
WillSonAlsoRises: ...
i'm staying here
HungryLikeTheWolf: WHY AREN'T YOU TAGGING
WillSonAlsoRises: because the left fielder caught it twenty feet behind shortstop
HungryLikeTheWolf: YOU HAVE TO BE AGGRESSIVE
WillSonAlsoRises: i would have been out before the ball reached the catcher
HungryLikeTheWolf: MAYBE WITH THAT ATTITUDE
ItsATrevorStory: jarren
that ball was not deep enough
HungryLikeTheWolf: IT WAS DEEP ENOUGH IN MY MIND
WillSonAlsoRises: unfortunately baseball uses physical distance
HungryLikeTheWolf: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT
*** GarrettCrochetHook has entered the chat ***
GarrettCrochetHook: i could see the whole play from the dugout
willson made the right call
HungryLikeTheWolf: STAY OUT OF THIS
GarrettCrochetHook: i'm literally your teammate
HungryLikeTheWolf: EXACTLY
BIAS
*** NewPhoneWhoAroldis has entered the chat ***
NewPhoneWhoAroldis: jarren
calm down
HungryLikeTheWolf: I AM CALM
/slams an iPad onto the dugout bench
ItsATrevorStory: that's the team iPad
HungryLikeTheWolf: IT WAS SHOWING NEGATIVE ENERGY
WillSonAlsoRises: it was showing the replay
HungryLikeTheWolf: SAME THING
/throws helmet across the dugout
*** CLANG ***
DallasBraden420: what did that hit
RedSoxNation: judging by this stadium
something load-bearing
*** A pipe in the dugout ruptures ***
NewPhoneWhoAroldis: why is water coming out of the ceiling
GarrettCrochetHook: because jarren hit the plumbing
ItsATrevorStory: with his helmet
WillSonAlsoRises: on a routine sacrifice fly argument
HungryLikeTheWolf: IT WAS NOT ROUTINE
WillSonAlsoRises: it was not a sacrifice fly
*** Update: Now chatting in #SacramentoAquaticsCenter ***
DallasBraden420: this has never happened before
RedSoxNation: a player has never thrown a helmet here before?
DallasBraden420: no
the pipe usually bursts by itself
*** Water continues pouring into the dugout ***
ItsATrevorStory: somebody shut it off
DallasBraden420: we're looking for the valve
GarrettCrochetHook: where is it
DallasBraden420: oakland
WillSonAlsoRises: of course it is
HungryLikeTheWolf: THIS IS NOT MY FAULT
NewPhoneWhoAroldis: you threw the helmet
HungryLikeTheWolf: THE PIPE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOUGHER
RedSoxNation: the athletics have announced the pipe is day-to-day with structural fatigue
*** JohnFisherPrice has entered the chat ***
JohnFisherPrice: good news
the water feature increases premium seating value
DallasBraden420: the dugout is flooding
JohnFisherPrice: splash zone
RedSoxNation: our team is standing ankle-deep in pipe water
JohnFisherPrice: immersive fan experience
ItsATrevorStory: can we move to the other dugout
JohnFisherPrice: upgrade fee
*** HungryLikeTheWolf kicks a folding chair ***
WillSonAlsoRises: stop hitting stadium components
HungryLikeTheWolf: I'M EXPRESSING PASSION
GarrettCrochetHook: you're expressing several workplace hazards
NewPhoneWhoAroldis: and a .195 batting average
HungryLikeTheWolf: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP BRINGING THAT UP
ItsATrevorStory: because it's the only number louder than you are
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: Boston remains firmly involved in the wild-card race.
Club officials are encouraged by the team's improved play following the managerial change.
Club officials are less encouraged by their left fielder attempting to fight fans, teammates and municipal plumbing.
HungryLikeTheWolf: I DID NOT FIGHT THE PIPE
WillSonAlsoRises: the pipe won anyway
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i watched the replay
terrible technique
HungryLikeTheWolf: THANK YOU
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i was talking about the helmet throw
you hit the pipe with the crown
lead with the ear flap
ItsATrevorStory: please do not coach him
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i'm trying to prevent another weak outburst
HungryLikeTheWolf: IT BROKE A PIPE
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: in sacramento
a firm handshake could break a pipe here
*** WORDUPTHOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
WORDUPTHOME: JARREN
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET YOUR EMOTIONS FLOW
BUT NOT THROUGH THE VISITING DUGOUT
THAT IS SUPPOSED TO STAY IN THE MUNICIPAL WATER SYSTEM
HungryLikeTheWolf: NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME
WORDUPTHOME: I UNDERSTAND
BUT I ALSO THINK WILLSON WOULD HAVE BEEN OUT BY THIRTY FEET
WillSonAlsoRises: thank you, jim
WORDUPTHOME: MAYBE FORTY
HungryLikeTheWolf: UNBELIEVABLE
RedSoxNation: hey guys
we're only two games out of the wild card
the rotation looks better
and the offense is finally clicking
WillSonAlsoRises: mostly
RedSoxNation: so can someone explain why our left fielder is screaming at teammates and flooding triple-a ballparks
*** A stadium employee arrives carrying one bucket and a roll of duct tape ***
RedSoxNation: relief is on the way
DallasBraden420: that's our facilities department
GarrettCrochetHook: one guy?
DallasBraden420: he also runs concessions in the fifth inning
WillSonAlsoRises: does he know how to repair plumbing
DallasBraden420: he watched a video
JohnFisherPrice: sponsored video
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: FINAL: Boston wins and continues its push toward a wild-card berth.
Jarren Duran finished hitless.
The Sacramento plumbing system was charged with one blown save.
Willson Contreras was not thrown out at home because he wisely remained at third base.
HungryLikeTheWolf: THIS TEAM HAS NO FIRE
WillSonAlsoRises: the dugout is underwater
we have plenty of emergency response elements
*** HungryLikeTheWolf has left to appeal the sacrifice fly to the Department of Public Works ***
*** WillSonAlsoRises has left to tag only when physically possible ***
*** ItsATrevorStory has left to place all team electronics beyond throwing distance ***
*** DallasBraden420 has left to list “indoor waterfall” as a stadium amenity ***
*** JohnFisherPrice has left to charge the Red Sox for water usage ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to demonstrate proper helmet-throwing form on a condemned building ***