After a week of questionable aim and even more questionable decision-making, the Dugout’s most controversial support group returns—still somehow led by Kyle Farnsworth. This time, the focus is on “progress,” a term being used very loosely. Framber Valdez is suspended for sending a not-so-subtle message to Trevor Story, while Gerrit Cole arrives with his own “totally accidental” plunking of a minor-league hitter who had taken him deep earlier in the game. As tensions simmer and explanations unravel, the group attempts to answer one simple question: is it really improvement if you’re still hitting people… just more selectively?
*** Now chatting in #DugoutTherapyPart2 ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: alright everybody
welcome back
today’s topic
“aiming your emotions productively”
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: which, frankly
I feel VERY qualified to lead
*** FramberFlamethrow has entered the chat ***
FramberFlamethrow: they suspend me
for little message pitch
FramberFlamethrow: ten runs they score
TEN
what I am supposed to do
say “good job”?
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: okay but who did you throw at
FramberFlamethrow: Trevor Story
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: …you know what
that’s growth
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: last time you were throwing at your own catcher
so this is a step forward
FramberFlamethrow: thank you
I am evolving
*** ColeTrain45 has entered the chat ***
ColeTrain45: yeah so uh
my rehab outing didn’t go great
ColeTrain45: and before anyone asks
yes
it looked intentional
ColeTrain45: guy took me deep earlier
next pitch… ball kinda found his back
FramberFlamethrow: ahhh
revenge pitch
classic
ColeTrain45: I’m saying it slipped
but like…
it slipped with purpose
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that’s not a thing
you can’t accidentally mean it
ColeTrain45: my arm is still figuring itself out
and apparently so are my decisions
*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
WORDUPTHOME: I BELIEVE
WE ARE SEEING PROGRESS
WORDUPTHOME: ONE MAN
AIMING AT THE CORRECT TEAM
WORDUPTHOME: ANOTHER MAN
SENDING A STRONGLY WORDED ACCIDENT
FramberFlamethrow: I control my anger
mostly
FramberFlamethrow: except when scoreboard disrespect me
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: alright
let’s do an exercise
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: close your eyes
picture the strike zone
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: now throw directly at it
*** long pause ***
ColeTrain45: …it moved
FramberFlamethrow: mine turned into Trevor Story again
WORDUPTHOME: THIS IS A PROCESS
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: alright new rule
nobody throws at anyone who homered
FramberFlamethrow: …what if they homer twice
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: DON’T ASK THAT
*** MLB_NewsBot has entered the chat ***
MLB_NewsBot: Framber Valdez suspended for throwing at Trevor Story
Gerrit Cole’s rehab outing raises questions after plunking batter who homered earlier
Intent described as “debatable but suspiciously convenient”
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: alright
breathing exercise again
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: inhale
exhale
do NOT aim at torso
ColeTrain45: working on it
FramberFlamethrow: progress
*** ColeTrain45 has left to locate literally anything ***
*** FramberFlamethrow has left to “not” send messages ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left to write “intent vs accident” on a whiteboard angrily ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left to believe in slightly better decisions ***