Dillon Dingler has spent the first three months of the season making an airtight case as the American League's best catcher, blasting 19 home runs, stealing strikes with uncanny ABS challenges, and becoming the backbone of Detroit's lineup. Yet somehow, he couldn't even crack the final round of All-Star voting, finishing behind the Athletics' Shea Langeliers and Toronto's Alejandro Kirk, who is hitting .183 after missing more than two months with injury. With seven Blue Jays finalists despite Toronto's disappointing season, Kyle Farnsworth has seen enough. It's time, he says, for All-Star voter ID, ballot audits, and a full investigation into what he calls "Big Maple."
*** Now chatting in #ElectionIntegrity ***
DingleAllTheWay: nineteen home runs
elite framing
elite defense
elite ABS challenges
DingleAllTheWay: ...
i lost to a guy hitting .183
MLB_NewsBot: AL Catcher finalists announced: Shea Langeliers, Alejandro Kirk.
Dillon Dingler eliminated.
TigersFans: WHAT
HOW
TrueNorthStrong: we voted
TigersFans: all of you?
TrueNorthStrong: pretty much
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: STOP THE COUNT
DingleAllTheWay: not the time, kyle
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: too late
i'm already investigating
TigersFans: please don't say "investigating"
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: FIRST OF ALL
i want ASG voter ID
TrueNorthStrong: voter ID?
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that's right
before you vote
prove you know what OPS stands for
TrueNorthStrong: on-base plus slugging
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ...
harder test
name three middle relievers on your team
TrueNorthStrong: absolutely not
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: SEE
FRAUD
MLB_NewsBot: Seven Blue Jays players advance to final round of fan voting.
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: seven?
ON PURPOSE?
TrueNorthStrong: yes
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that's too many
i'm connecting dots
TrueNorthStrong: there are no dots
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: THERE ARE ALWAYS DOTS
somebody get me a corkboard
TigersFans: dingler's got nineteen homers
catches everything
wins ABS challenges like they're game shows
DingleAllTheWay: i even blocked a splitter with my face once
where were the votes then
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: okay
red string
map of north america
several thumbtacks
explain yourselves, canada
TrueNorthStrong: our explanation is...
we have internet
and free time
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: TOO CONVENIENT
*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
WORDUPTHOME: I BELIEVE
THE BEST PLAYERS
SHOULD MAKE THE ALL-STAR TEAM
WORDUPTHOME: I ALSO BELIEVE
CANADIANS REALLY LOVE THE BLUE JAYS
WORDUPTHOME: THESE THINGS CAN BOTH BE TRUE
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: jim
that's exactly what they want us to believe
TrueNorthStrong: "they"
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: BIG MAPLE
TrueNorthStrong: ...
that's just trees
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: IS IT
*** five minutes later ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i've prepared several common-sense reforms
one vote per person
picture identification
and before submitting your ballot
you must correctly identify a slider
DingleAllTheWay: that's... actually not the worst idea
TrueNorthStrong: this is getting out of hand
MLB_NewsBot: Independent review finds no evidence of ballot tampering.
Primary cause appears to be millions of enthusiastic Blue Jays fans.
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that's exactly what an independent review WOULD say
TigersFans: kyle
please
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i'm just asking questions
WORDUPTHOME: KYLE
PUT DOWN THE CORKBOARD
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: NEVER
*** DingleAllTheWay has left to prepare for the "Snub Series" ***
*** TrueNorthStrong has left to vote in several online polls about favorite maple syrup ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left demanding a ballot signature audit ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left hoping everyone remembers it's just the All-Star Game ***