Josh Naylor has changed uniforms, but not his reputation. Whether he's running over first basemen, leaning into pitches, jawing with catchers, or simply existing in a way that infuriates opposing dugouts, the Mariners' first baseman has embraced life as one of baseball's premier heels. His latest confrontation—with former teammate Austin Hedges escalating from a disputed hit-by-pitch to "You're a loser" and the devastating reply, "Nobody likes you. Literally nobody likes you."—is exactly the sort of baseball pettiness Kyle Farnsworth can't help but admire.
*** Now chatting in #CertifiedMenace ***
MLB_NewsBot: Josh Naylor hit by pitch.
Replay suggests Naylor made minimal effort to avoid contact.
the_ball: i was honestly trying to miss him
NaylorLater: i was honestly trying to get on base
the_ball: ...fair enough
*** AustinHedgeFund has entered the chat ***
AustinHedgeFund: seriously?
you leaned right into that
NaylorLater: veteran move
AustinHedgeFund: that's not a veteran move
that's coupon clipping
NaylorLater: you're a loser
*** silence ***
AustinHedgeFund: ...
nobody likes you.
literally nobody likes you.
*** record scratch ***
JRamBam: OH MY
CatcherInTheDumper: that's not baseball trash talk
that's thanksgiving trash talk
AustinHedgeFund: i know it's true
because i asked
NaylorLater: you ASKED?
AustinHedgeFund: mhm
clubhouse
bullpen
grounds crew
the guy driving the tarp
one of the security guards
the condiment guy
unanimous
the_ball: he did actually ask me
i thought it was a weird survey
JRamBam: he had a clipboard
the_ball: very professional
NaylorLater: THIS WAS ORGANIZED?
AustinHedgeFund: i believe in preparation
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chat ***
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: HOLD ON
you mean to tell me
this wasn't heat-of-the-moment trash talk
this was PEER-REVIEWED?
AustinHedgeFund: i gathered data
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that's the pettiest thing i've ever heard
...
i love it
NaylorLater: this is ridiculous
AustinHedgeFund: no
what's ridiculous
is that Steve from clubhouse services answered before i finished the question
SteveClubhouse: yeah
sorry
strong feelings
NaylorLater: STEVE?
SteveClubhouse: you never return the sunflower seeds
*** FramberFlamethrow has entered the chat ***
FramberFlamethrow: hahaha
i was not asked
AustinHedgeFund: i knew your answer already
FramberFlamethrow: fair
NaylorLater: WHY ARE YOU HERE
FramberFlamethrow: i subscribe to drama
*** HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
*** JIM THOME has entered the chat ***
WORDUPTHOME: HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
WORDUPTHOME: THIS HAS GONE
FROM BASEBALL
TO HIGH SCHOOL
AustinHedgeFund: josh
you can't sit with us
NaylorLater: i don't want to sit with you
AustinHedgeFund: that's fine
because the seats are full
JRamBam: dang
CatcherInTheDumper: that's cold
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: this is elite
not physically fighting
emotionally devastating
MLB_NewsBot: In-game exchange escalates from baseball disagreement to what analysts are calling "mean-girl-level social warfare."
No evidence has been found that Austin Hedges actually conducted a survey.
Several players admit they would have participated if asked.
WORDUPTHOME: BASEBALL IS A LONG SEASON
SOME PLAYERS COLLECT HITS
SOME COLLECT RIVALS
WORDUPTHOME: JOSH
YOU'RE HAVING AN OUTSTANDING YEAR
IN THE SECOND CATEGORY
NaylorLater: i'm starting my own survey
AustinHedgeFund: save your time
i already know the results
*** NaylorLater has left to become an even bigger heel somehow ***
*** AustinHedgeFund has left carrying an entirely fictional clipboard ***
*** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left inspired by the power of organized pettiness ***
*** WORDUPTHOME has left hoping everyone hugs it out (they won't) ***